Bed Time

My five year old's eyes drooped with tiredness as I put him to bed a moment ago. When I think of my children and how my upcoming departure affects them, my thoughts most often fall on my eight year old daughter. You daddy's out there know what I am saying; little girls need their daddy's in a special way. Tonight, however, my little boy filled my thoughts.

He skipped his nap today so he was a little extra groggy at bed time. He wanted to stay up to play, but bed time arrived. Tears still flowed from his eyes and sobs came muffled as he climbed into bed. I wanted him to quite crying before I left the room; I don't like to leave them that way just before going to sleep so I stroked his hair while he calmed down. As I looked at his precious face, thoughts overcame me of what that face would look like when I returned from my first deployment.

So why in the world do I go off on this depressive direction in my blog tonight? Just on the outside chance that God uses this blog to speak to someone else who is getting ready to walk a similar path as mine, that person will know that someone else struggled with those feelings, too.

It says in Scripture "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me." Western mindset infiltrates our thinking too much. We think everything should be easy. Well, the fact of the matter is the Bible promises us just the opposite. If we are really serious about following Him, it will mean sacrifice on our parts. So where is the pay off? I believe with all my heart that my following God on this journey will afford me a special closeness with that little boy I would not have found any other way (as well as with the rest of my family). I also believe that one day when my little boy and I stand before the Bema Seat, he will see the faces of all the souls God touched because he willingly shared his daddy.