Okay, God, so you want me to become an Army chaplain. Well, I guess the first thing I had better do is get in shape. I know I will have to lose...what...probably about 10 or 15 pounds to meet the entrance requirement. I guess I will check the Army height/weight charts to see exactly where I need to be.
THEY WANT ME TO LOSE HOW MUCH!?!
Alright, if I stand really straight, I can pass for six feet one inch. That means the most I can weigh is 205 pounds to make it in the Army. Dieting and exercise gives a whole new meaing to suffering for Jesus. Okay...right now I tip the scales at about 250. Good-bye cheesecake...Hello celery. And exercise...if I start running, my joints may take out a class action lawsuit against me. Oh well...you've got to start somewhere. If memory serves me right, I think that under those clothes in the corner of the bedroom is a treadmill. Maybe it will come in handy for something other than a clothestand after all.
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